I'm not really sending it back.

I've come to the conclusion that laptops with wireless cards do several things to a bored, drunken individual.

1. Sobriety - I can't seem to stop stumbling the blogosphere long enough to get up and make a drink.
2. Insomnia - Going to sleep without the aid of a glass of wine is not as easy as I remember it.
3. Very Clear Thoughts - I've done it again. I'm awake after sleeping for an hour, it's four AM, and immediately upon consciousness I decide I need to quit smoking. Not just an "edging towards quitting" or "I'll finish this pack", but an I'm quitting now. It was as if everything negative I've ever known or been told about smoking finally culminated in the instant I woke up, and it sounded like sick whales and starving children screaming, "THIS WILL KILL YOU." And this all leads up to
   
4. Becoming Re-Acquainted with the Beauty of Living. After my body told me I will quit smoking, it proceeded to fill my head with images of how much fun it would be to paint my apartment with a snazzy color scheme, and re-tile my linoleum kitchen with black and white checkered ceramic. Maybe possibly build some furniture out of old crap I find in people's garbage [why do other people always throw away shit you think is really neat?].
   

So basically laptops with wireless cards make your brain into a really complex StumbleUpon button with some serious potential for crapping all over your daily routine. I'm totally sending it back. Tomorrow's 4AM might have me writing the Great American Novel at age 23 and becoming Nobel Laureate for climate change prevention or something really lame like that. It's gotta go.


But seriously, let's see how well I can quit.