There's something interesting going on in my head right now, and I kind of like it.
I decided to be a regular do-gooder.
I'm not religious in the least bit, and I've even gone so far as to call myself an atheist for the past few years. I am not one of those atheists who goes off about how stupid religion is, though -- I respect the truly devout do-gooders in all religions, including the one I was raised within and rejected in adolescence. When people do good things, I'm impressed and inspired, no matter what their reasoning.
Due to a not-really-uncanny series of events a week or so ago, I decided to sit down and look at my life, to compare the things I do with the way I think. Just to see if they balanced out, I guess. Though I have to admit, I had a feeling they wouldn't...and they didn't.
I preach to Facebook and friends about the merit and power of positivity, of believing in oneself, yet I fail to follow my own advice half the time. I judge people sometimes and I fail to notice. I dole out an occasional lecture on nutrition every once in awhile, but I eat fast food roughly once a week, and I crave it far more than that. I catch myself in condescending moments and I allow them to continue, while the thought that someone believes they know what's best for me bothers me more than anything else.
When I saw it all on paper, it was too clear to ignore. All these ways I contradict myself have rubbernecked and clogged up a very important spiritual road in me, and it's likely the source of a lot of my aimless discontent and episodic productivity. When I hear so many disconnects between what I say and what I do, the logical side effect is gradually lowered self-esteem.
So I decided to put the car in drive.
An impulsively purchased new journal has become a place where I keep things that strike awe in me. Every day, I try to write something that recently made me happy, made me think, or made me reconsider ideological choices made long ago. Things I'm thankful for, things about me that I think could use some work, things I've made progress on. People in my life whom I need to appreciate more.
It's become something wonderful: the same day I put the pen to page one, I thought of a million ways I could make the world better. Little things, like cleaning my little sister's living room while she's sick as hell, or passing on a freelance gig to a friend of mine who needs the money and the confidence boost more than I do. Things that allow me to use my time in a way that leaves me not just satisfied, but awestruck, at the end of the day.
Everybody goes through phases of ups and downs. I know I've figured this out before, but it's always so unbelievable to remember how little effort it takes to improve another person's quality of life, and how unbelievably amazing it feels to make that effort. When I put good into the world, it comes back to me in the form of existing in a better world. It's a result I see and feel immediately -- both before and after the exercise. My stress is disappearing and I'm watching myself set higher goals for my life, because I actually believe I can hit them.
"Do no harm" might just be a little different than "Do good." I like it.
I decided to be a regular do-gooder.
I'm not religious in the least bit, and I've even gone so far as to call myself an atheist for the past few years. I am not one of those atheists who goes off about how stupid religion is, though -- I respect the truly devout do-gooders in all religions, including the one I was raised within and rejected in adolescence. When people do good things, I'm impressed and inspired, no matter what their reasoning.
Due to a not-really-uncanny series of events a week or so ago, I decided to sit down and look at my life, to compare the things I do with the way I think. Just to see if they balanced out, I guess. Though I have to admit, I had a feeling they wouldn't...and they didn't.
I preach to Facebook and friends about the merit and power of positivity, of believing in oneself, yet I fail to follow my own advice half the time. I judge people sometimes and I fail to notice. I dole out an occasional lecture on nutrition every once in awhile, but I eat fast food roughly once a week, and I crave it far more than that. I catch myself in condescending moments and I allow them to continue, while the thought that someone believes they know what's best for me bothers me more than anything else.
When I saw it all on paper, it was too clear to ignore. All these ways I contradict myself have rubbernecked and clogged up a very important spiritual road in me, and it's likely the source of a lot of my aimless discontent and episodic productivity. When I hear so many disconnects between what I say and what I do, the logical side effect is gradually lowered self-esteem.
So I decided to put the car in drive.
An impulsively purchased new journal has become a place where I keep things that strike awe in me. Every day, I try to write something that recently made me happy, made me think, or made me reconsider ideological choices made long ago. Things I'm thankful for, things about me that I think could use some work, things I've made progress on. People in my life whom I need to appreciate more.
It's become something wonderful: the same day I put the pen to page one, I thought of a million ways I could make the world better. Little things, like cleaning my little sister's living room while she's sick as hell, or passing on a freelance gig to a friend of mine who needs the money and the confidence boost more than I do. Things that allow me to use my time in a way that leaves me not just satisfied, but awestruck, at the end of the day.
Everybody goes through phases of ups and downs. I know I've figured this out before, but it's always so unbelievable to remember how little effort it takes to improve another person's quality of life, and how unbelievably amazing it feels to make that effort. When I put good into the world, it comes back to me in the form of existing in a better world. It's a result I see and feel immediately -- both before and after the exercise. My stress is disappearing and I'm watching myself set higher goals for my life, because I actually believe I can hit them.
"Do no harm" might just be a little different than "Do good." I like it.
