About an hour ago, I remembered that I had a cache of writing uploaded to my LSU file space--wittily named FilesToGeaux--and I found my ridiculous attempts at poetry under the gentle care of Professor Andrei Codrescu. Check this out.

A Dialogue Concerning Why Prayers Are Never Answered

God,
Where is the mercy
in having faith
in my lover's bed, lying
drunk with my eyes gutted,
bits of me scattered atop
the residue of the other girls
hiding on his sheets?
Your Child,
Christie

Child,
I’m a big fan of irony.
Suck it up, kiddo, I rule the universe.
God

BWAHAHA