Afterbirth

I have no comparative experience, but writing a cover story is the closest I've ever come to giving birth. By that count, I have two children now. Let's hope BOTH of them aren't black sheep, cause that first one sure as hell was.

Giving Birth and Writing a Cover Story: A Comparison
-You don't need stitches after writing a cover story, but you might feel the need to remove your trachea.
-No one smokes two packs of cigarettes while giving birth. At least, not that I've heard of.
-Labor takes anywhere from 8 to 48 hours, and how long it takes is out of your control. Writing a cover story takes anywhere from 8 to 56 hours, and how long it takes is directly proportional to how well you've done your job last week. Or how much speed you have.
-Cover story contractions might be just as painful as labor pains.
-Cover stories have deadlines, whereas doctors can only approximate a due date.
-Both end results will keep you up all night, wondering what the world will think of your creation -- both tomorrow, and 5 years from now.
-After you give birth, you're required to hang out with and develop your creation for at least 18 years. When writing a cover story, those 18 years are jammed into however long it takes you to write the bitch.
-At the end of the real or compressed 18 years, both child and cover story leave your sphere of direct influence.

When child or cover story leaves home, both scenarios are met with relief, either in a thank-God-I-don't-have-to-look-at-it-anymore way, or simply a tired sigh. But also, both are met with a certain degree of self-doubt: have I taught it everything it needs to know? Have I fixed all the errors I've made? What if I've fucked it up? What if the wrong people end up reading it, and don't understand what I've scribed upon its soul?
What if I forgot to make sure it had one?

And in both scenarios, after they leave home, all you can do is comment on how people react to it. And in this day and age, both scenarios might only be able to comment online.

A child leaves home with a malleable, changeable life ahead of it, while a cover story leaves home unable to do anything but what you told it to do, forever.

Well that just got real serious. Didn't see that one coming. This better not be my baby alarm going off, or I'll be pissed.