1. Cold snaps; the kind that really do feel like a "snap;" they remind me of snapping light sticks on night hikes during Girl Scout camping trips. When the weather changes here, it shocks people into saying more interesting sentences. I say far more interesting things when the temperature has just dropped 20 degrees, and people I bump into are more likely to start interesting conversations. As a result, I start thinking about all the wonderful, interesting people in my life that I haven't had recent one-on-ones with, and that makes me realize how many wonderful, interesting people I have yet to meet. The nugget I always end up with is a delightful crescendo of appreciation for the world, and humanity at large; optimistic to a degree capable of drowning out the negative parts -- all the "what is the world coming to?" that has carbonized in the heat of summer.
2. Conversations in which I end up accidentally teaching myself something; the ones where, in the heat of advice-giving, I hear something come out of my mouth that I've never thought before that moment, and something clicks in my head and I realize I've just given myself an explanation that I didn't know I needed. Tonight, I answered a question about myself that I'd never thought to ask before. Josh disputed my comment that I like the history of music more than I like the music itself (which I had also just realized). But because he challenged my statement, I was challenged to explain what made it true -- why am I so interested in the making of music when I rarely remember to turn on the radio in my car?
After a few half-sentences, I said, "Because I'm interested in human history, and our history is hidden in music...it sings our own history back to us."
3. Waiting tables. So I might have gotten lucky with the place I work. The service industry is so famously disgruntled, and behind the safety of kitchen doors, those who haven't been on both sides of them are always blamed as the enemy. After seven years on both sides, I don't see it that way anymore.
Sometimes, I think the reason servers get so angry is because the American gratuity system doesn't allow us to consistently earn what we think our time is worth -- in fact, there are times when there's absolutely nothing we can do to earn a decent tip from a cheap table -- and the server rage only festers when we begin to let ourselves think that a tip is a measure of our worth. I've been treated like a child, a heathen, a leper, a slave, an idiot, and a female object in my years as a server, and I went through a period when my self-esteem would plummet when an unassuming friend would say something like, "How hard could your job possibly be?" It was hard to face the futility of explaining how hard my job could possibly be to someone who has not only never done it, but had no real desire to understand. Until a person has been on the standing side of the table, they'll likely never grasp the experience of a job that essentially requires you to walk up to a group of hungry strangers and ask them to judge you on any criteria they desire, decide what "your job" entails, and then pay you at a rate of their choosing, anywhere from eight to 20 times a day. "Your job is just to bring people their food and refill their drinks, right?"
Even though it sucks sometimes, when a table engages me in a more thought-provoking conversation than many people get from their closest friends, I feel like I have the best job in the world. And instead of the normal grumbling about a mediocre tip as I clear their table an hour after closing time, I'm reminded that real human connections can't be bought, and that the conversation I've just had with a few strangers should never, ever be judged in dollars.
I'm not sure when it changed, but a low number on the tip line doesn't do anything to me anymore -- at least not psychologically. I might leave a five-hour shift with three bucks, but watching a normally civil human being as he justifies (or doesn't think anything of) his sub-human treatment of a stranger in public is the real gold I leave with -- he has taught me something about humanity that he won't ever understand, because he'll never be brave enough to put an apron on and look it in the eye.
For instance, tonight I waited on a guy who told me he thinks people who don't like the Beatles are uncultured idiots, due to the factual superiority (record sales) of the Beatles discography. I told him that if he's using record sales as a measure of how great a band is, he'll probably never be proven wrong, but only because nobody buys records anymore.
He said, "Yeah, so I'm right, right?"
I saw the exchange, and the ensuing lame tip, as ever more proof that monetary exchanges can't possibly reflect the worth of a human being -- not creative talent, musicianship, nor work ethic; not argumentative prowess nor character -- which is something a lot of people say, but waiting tables has shown me that very few people truly believe it, and even fewer realize the extent to which they've bought into the opposite. Some customers get such a thrill from knowing they control their server's income, I wonder what hell their private lives are.
Perspective is humanity's true currency, and though the service industry isn't the only way to earn it, I'd have a lot less of it if I'd gotten some other job when I was 19.
2. Conversations in which I end up accidentally teaching myself something; the ones where, in the heat of advice-giving, I hear something come out of my mouth that I've never thought before that moment, and something clicks in my head and I realize I've just given myself an explanation that I didn't know I needed. Tonight, I answered a question about myself that I'd never thought to ask before. Josh disputed my comment that I like the history of music more than I like the music itself (which I had also just realized). But because he challenged my statement, I was challenged to explain what made it true -- why am I so interested in the making of music when I rarely remember to turn on the radio in my car?
After a few half-sentences, I said, "Because I'm interested in human history, and our history is hidden in music...it sings our own history back to us."
3. Waiting tables. So I might have gotten lucky with the place I work. The service industry is so famously disgruntled, and behind the safety of kitchen doors, those who haven't been on both sides of them are always blamed as the enemy. After seven years on both sides, I don't see it that way anymore.
Sometimes, I think the reason servers get so angry is because the American gratuity system doesn't allow us to consistently earn what we think our time is worth -- in fact, there are times when there's absolutely nothing we can do to earn a decent tip from a cheap table -- and the server rage only festers when we begin to let ourselves think that a tip is a measure of our worth. I've been treated like a child, a heathen, a leper, a slave, an idiot, and a female object in my years as a server, and I went through a period when my self-esteem would plummet when an unassuming friend would say something like, "How hard could your job possibly be?" It was hard to face the futility of explaining how hard my job could possibly be to someone who has not only never done it, but had no real desire to understand. Until a person has been on the standing side of the table, they'll likely never grasp the experience of a job that essentially requires you to walk up to a group of hungry strangers and ask them to judge you on any criteria they desire, decide what "your job" entails, and then pay you at a rate of their choosing, anywhere from eight to 20 times a day. "Your job is just to bring people their food and refill their drinks, right?"
Even though it sucks sometimes, when a table engages me in a more thought-provoking conversation than many people get from their closest friends, I feel like I have the best job in the world. And instead of the normal grumbling about a mediocre tip as I clear their table an hour after closing time, I'm reminded that real human connections can't be bought, and that the conversation I've just had with a few strangers should never, ever be judged in dollars.
I'm not sure when it changed, but a low number on the tip line doesn't do anything to me anymore -- at least not psychologically. I might leave a five-hour shift with three bucks, but watching a normally civil human being as he justifies (or doesn't think anything of) his sub-human treatment of a stranger in public is the real gold I leave with -- he has taught me something about humanity that he won't ever understand, because he'll never be brave enough to put an apron on and look it in the eye.
For instance, tonight I waited on a guy who told me he thinks people who don't like the Beatles are uncultured idiots, due to the factual superiority (record sales) of the Beatles discography. I told him that if he's using record sales as a measure of how great a band is, he'll probably never be proven wrong, but only because nobody buys records anymore.
He said, "Yeah, so I'm right, right?"
I saw the exchange, and the ensuing lame tip, as ever more proof that monetary exchanges can't possibly reflect the worth of a human being -- not creative talent, musicianship, nor work ethic; not argumentative prowess nor character -- which is something a lot of people say, but waiting tables has shown me that very few people truly believe it, and even fewer realize the extent to which they've bought into the opposite. Some customers get such a thrill from knowing they control their server's income, I wonder what hell their private lives are.
Perspective is humanity's true currency, and though the service industry isn't the only way to earn it, I'd have a lot less of it if I'd gotten some other job when I was 19.
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