Five

Five cigarettes today. Not so bad compared to yesterday's 30, and it's already 6:35pm.

I had a really great idea after I wrote at 4am last night-- I'm going to buy a large box of straws, trim them all down so that 20 fit in an empty box of cigarettes, and when I want a cigarette, I'll take out one of the mini-straws and chew on it.

Actually that sounds kind of nasty, especially if I do it in public. Spit strings are sick. I suppose 4am only feels really significant and meaningful at 4am. Sobriety is overrated.

To get my mind off of smoking, I decided I'd clean my kitchen. As in, hands-and-knees-with-a-toothbrush clean my kitchen. It was relatively clean before this, dishes done, etc. but I wanted to get the baseboards, the greasy crud on the wall by the stove, the dust that covers my empty wine bottle collection. I'm not domestic or anything.

I make my pine-sol solution and dump out the cups that catch my leaky faucet water, scrub the shit off the countertop... and then I look at my wine bottles, catching the sunset in my window with different colors. My favorite is the blue one. See the picture--it's a Bawls energy drink bottle. Then I decide to make a soap container out of it, to put hand soap in. So I do that, and then I decide I want to change out some of the bottles on the windowsill to different colored ones, to catch the sun better.

All in all, I spent two hours in the kitchen, filling up clear bottles with sanitizer water and food coloring. Some now have glittery things in them. The only thing I managed to clean was the tiny spot behind the sink, and I messed up the kitchen with the dye. The baseboards still have cat hair and crud on them, and the grease by the stove continues to fester.

This is why I can't get anything done.

Might have a lil' story or some lil' tiddlywinks to post later.